Monday, July 7, 2008

I Wonder...

Talladega Nights was on last week and I was thinking that I missed Will Ferrell on Saturday Night Live because he's damn funny. Then, I wondered something else, which I'm not sure is even related, but perhaps it is in some distant, tenuous way

Is there any reason why I would miss Dubya?

I have gotten some great laughs out of his Bushisms. Damn, those are funny.

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? ... That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Feb. 28, 2008

"Your eminence, you're looking good." --George W. Bush to Pope Benedict XVI, using the title for Catholic cardinals, rather than addressing him as "your holiness," Rome, June 13, 2008

"Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech." --George W. Bush, to Pope Benedict, Washington, D.C., April 15, 2008

"All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone." --George W. Bush, San Diego, Calif., Oct. 25, 2007

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." -George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

And it goes on. And on. And on.

So I was thinking to myself if it would be possible that I could miss this buffoon. Perhaps I might miss his comedic existence as President, but really, the laughs couldn't possibly out-weigh the damage he has done.

Which led me to thinking about what would you give up if you could go back and change the course of events, thus electing Gore in 2000? I have thought about this. In fact, I thought about it back in 2003 before his second term which turned out to be an even bigger disaster. There is that saying of "I would give my right arm", or whatever, for such-and-such. I have come to the conclusion that if it were actually possible to time travel to the past and somehow prevent GWB from getting elected in 2000 that I would give my pinky toe. For sure.

You might think this is drastic, to give up a body part, but I believe it's a small price to pay, thinking about the lives lost in the war, the current cost of oil/gas, the current state of the US dollar and economy, the horrendous response to Hurricane Katrina, negative progress on environmental issues - I think his presidency made all these things worse, and some may never have happened has he not been elected. My pinky toe is nothing compared to the suffering he has inflicted on the citizens of this country and the rest of the world.

And how cool would of a story would that be?

"So, how did you lose your toe?"

"Dude, my toe saved you and the rest of the world from the biggest bumbling idiot ever to run for national office. My toe SAVED LIVES."

I would be like Xena the Warrior Princess or something. Super-Hero Chacha, saving the world from incompetent politicians, one pinky toe at a time.

I hope posting this doesn't mean I am now doomed to lose my pinky toe. I'd like to keep my pinky toe, thank you, since I know it's impossible to time travel ala Hiro Nakamura. I'm just saying, if it were possible.

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