Friday, February 29, 2008

What's Up With the Curry Smell?

This week I have made it to morning practice 4 times, only missing Thursday because in now way, shape, or form can I hack a level 4/5 class. I am still working on the 1st series, for Pete's sake. Anyway, so, it seems like there is someone, or multiple people, who must eat a boat-load of curry. Once the heat seems to build with people around me I start to smell curry. It's the weirdest thing. It hasn't happened every single day, but it's happened 2 out of 4 times. It's probably one person that just has curry seeping out of their pores. Do they not smell it? Maybe they enjoy smelling like curry? Is it like the body-odor thing where you have no clue because you have been smelling it constantly?

Not sure what is worse. Practicing next to someone with strong sweat odor or strong curry odor. I think they are equal. Maybe curry is less offensive - though it's still not desirable. I have always heard about garlic coming through in sweat, but I guess curry is another spice that leeches out of your skin.

Today there was a tiny milestone achieved - tiny because it wasn't the complete pose, just a piece. The teacher that assists the Mysore classes (Kiran) at 7am (who gives the best adjustments - she is strong) actually got my hands bound in supta kurmasana, without the legs though. She didn't want to try to bind my legs because she thought I would lose my grip on the hands and I agreed. Then she moved my feet like an inch towards each other probably just to kind of get them going in that direction, and "pop!" I lost my grip. But this is still a positive development, to actually have my fingers together behind without the legs is something. I think I'm going to have a hard time with the full pose though because I have short legs, and that does not help with legs-behind-the-head. Long-torso + short-legs- + short-arms is not a good combo for supta kurmasana.

I am Iron Man

Ok, I have seen this on a few blogs so I did the superhero quiz...

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man
Green Lantern
The Flash
Wonder Woman
Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Cursed Girl Scout Cookies

It's that time of the year, folks. The Girl Scout cookie time and it's no easier this year than any other year to avoid eating 14,000 of them. I have five boxes (two co-workers' children, I got 2 from one and 3 from the other) and Lord, is it going to be Cookie Monster time for a few weeks. Ack. I have eaten... let's see... 5 today. Four were from the communal boxes left in the break room by one of the cookie peddlers. I could easily eat like 5 more, no problem.

What is up with these cookies? They are like crack or heroine or something. Not that I would know - but they certainly are addictive. I guess not as bad, right, because we don't get night sweats and have to call our dealers to get us our cookie fix. But still, even without the trans-fat they are still insanely munchable.

Battle of the Bulge

I am feeling like I have lost a little weight. Or maybe I am hallucinating, but the pants feel looser. It could be no-more-extra-estrogen related or more-Ashtanga-practice related, or a combination of both.I am thinking if I keep up this practice thing where I hit the mat 5-6 times a week, maybe I can drop below 110 (I am barely 5'0" so it's not like I have unrealistic skinny expectations - I am pretty darn short. I can go to 95 without being considered "underweight". I was 92 in high school.). I haven't been below 110 since I was running 1/2 and full marathons. I was close to 120 a few months ago and though I wasn't all that bummed about it, I did have a little worry voice in the back of my head that the number would continue to creep up as the years progressed. Perhaps I can slow that down a bit. A slowing metabolism is inevitable but how much is slows and at what rate, maybe that can be influenced some.

Perhaps Not the Tranny?

Small glimmer of hope that the Sentra actually has a TPS sensor problem (Throttle Position Sensor). That is more like $300 instead of $3000. Must more wallet-friendly. But I am still not gung-ho on Nissans nor automatics. Give me stick shift and I am a happy camper. It's definitely not going to be the Sentra that drives to Phoenix. It's going to be my Toyota, though it is only 16,000 miles behind the Sentra.

Reason Why We Should All Be Drinking Bloody Marys

Just got an email from those Real Age folks (they are definitely junk mail offenders) but I actually skimmed this one because it talked about veggies and it was basically a V8 advertisement. The one interesting tidbit I got out of it is they now have a low-sodium V8, which is good because the regular V8 is SUPER salty - not ideal for people with high-blood pressure. The other thing reading about V8 did for me was induce a Bloody Mary craving. I some how rationalized that having a Bloody Mary could be considered "good" for you with some low-sodium V8 and a couple big celery stalks to cool the Tabasco. Is it Friday yet?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

It's Poopy. Really.

A little bummed today.

I'm not a car expert, but from my internet research, it looks like the hubby's Nissan Sentra is having transmission problems, specifically a slipping transmission. We have had the car less than 4 years -- since October 2004. It has a lot of miles on it, for sure -- about 106K. But the miles are 80% highway -- not city miles. Some highway traffic miles, but really, mostly 70-80 mph highway driving.

The other kicker to this is that we are still paying for this car - the loan amount was high because we had to turn in a leased Nissan Murano early, due to the amount he was driving to work (we moved to the IE and keeping the leased vehicle would have cost us a small fortune at lease end). Because of this, we had to finance extra money since the Murano was "underwater" in value. So we still owe about 7K on this Sentra, a car that is worth maybe 5K (with a bad tranny, it's worth maybe 1k). To rebuild a transmission it'll be around 3-4K.

Isn't that nice? It's the car that keeps on giving.

That means we are on the hook for 11K on this car. In my humble opinion, a 2004 Nissan that has mostly highway miles shouldn't have its tranny crapping out at 106K. Even more annoying is we paid extra for the 100K extended warranty when we bought it. Ya. Doesn't that just pinch you in the ass. We are 6K over when this shit happens. I swear, they time it that way.

No more Nissans, I am done with them. Phooey. I wish I could convince the hubby to put up with a stick shift for the next car, but I doubt he'll go for it since he has to drive into the city. Stick is not all that fun in traffic, but when your clutch goes - it's 700 bucks, not 3700 bucks. You know?

Ugh, I am peeved. I can only hope it's really not the tranny, and it just needs some tranny tweaking (everytime I type "tranny" I think of transvestite... if only the car had transvestite problems, that would be a whole lot better. Whatever that would mean).

Maybe I can borrow one of the retired parents vehicles so that we don't have to rent one while this business is fixed.

I wish I could just chuck the car, but that would be 7K to pay out and 3.5K feels better than 7k. Blah.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Rusty and I have the Clumsies

Seems like today is a clumsy day. This morning, I managed to wack my forehead on the side of the closet. I seriously have no idea how I managed that. I reached in there to grab something (I was trying to avoid stepping into the closet, save time... dumb move) and when I straightened up, "thwack!" Forehead meets door jamb. That was fun.

Then in Mysore, I did a number on the two last toes on my right foot. I hope I didn't break them because they still hurt 3+ hours later. I was trying to jump though from down dog and stubbed them -- hard. I also had a very hard time coming up from backbend -- fell on my ass twice. Managed two good stand-ups. It was a clumsy practice. I had that stand-up move down two weeks ago, now it feels like it's almost back to square one.

I was not the only member of the house that got bit by the clumsy bug. Rusty was a mess this morning, out of nowhere, really, because he was fine yesterday. He is really starting to show his age. He was not stable on this feet - he kept falling over. He would try to do his morning "shake" that he does when he steps out of his crate, and just collapse on the floor. When it was food time he didn't want to eat. He ate a slice of ham and a dog bone just fine (I wanted to see how bad he was - if he wouldn't eat the good stuff, I probably would have called the vet this morning), but his regular grub didn't appeal to him. Which is a little strange since this is the dog that won't leave me alone at 5pm because IT'S TIME TO EAT. He will "talk" from 5pm on, hovering around you, until you feed him. So, I'm not sure what to make of it. Hopefully it is just a phase and he will be eating and walking fine when I get home tonight.

Beef, It's Not What's for Dinner

Ok, how scary is the latest 143 million pound beef recall (Hallmark/Westland in nearby Chino, CA)? Goes back 2 years. I mean, beef from two years old has likely been consumed and pooped out a long time ago. And how horrible are these people (slaughterhouse workers) to treat the animals that way -- prodding them with electronic shock cattle prods to make them stand up as they scream in pain -- just before you're going to kill them? Ugh, I am disgusted, and my decision to not eat meat is so much more re-enforced.

I was reading today's WSJ (Wall Street Journal) article about it and it's just yucky. Aside from the fact that they sold Downer cow meat (Downer cows: the ones that can't seem to stand up -- they have a higher probability of having Mad Cow disease), even the process of slaughtering bugs me. I guess the cows have to walk a 90 foot path before getting to the slaughter box, and the path is inclined and meanders some so the cows don't realize what's going to happen to them, what they are walking into. I mean, so the reality is, if the path was straight these animals would now exactly what the deal was and freak out. They don't want to die anymore than we do. If I imagine myself as one of those cows I get REALLY bummed out, it's not right.

I wish as a country we could eat less meat. I'm not saying everyone should immediately stop eating all meat, but I think we don't need to kill as many animals as we do -- we don't need to eat that much meat. And it would be great to not have to put animals through the large-scale slaughterhouse process we have today. Wouldn't it be nice to think the cow you are eating at least lived on a farm, was comfortable for a while, was treated well? Instead of the awful, crowded, disgusting conditions they exist in now? I don't know, I am standing here on my soapbox with likely few to no people reading/listening, but I am putting this out to the universe that we need to have more respect for living things.

Stepping of my soap box now.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Beware: This Post Might Increase Your Boredom Level

Well, the latest side-effect (or reversal of good side-effects) to my discontinuing of microgestin is a mondo-huge-ginormous cyst in between my eyebrows. It is like a 3rd eye - except not the cool chakra kind of 3rd eye. And I feel two other spots on my face where there is some pain like they might "bloom" into sister cysts. For the love of Pete, when is this acne shit going to end already?

It's ok, though, I mean, I suppose cyst-y face is better than having some terminal disease, right? Gotta find the positives! Though my hypochondriac self will somehow tie my cysts to some rare disorder where I'll be crippled or dead before the age of 35.


It's raining again here in Southern California. I haven't seen this kind of persistent rain since 2001. We had like 4 days of sunshine last week and it seemed like an eternity since I had last seen a clear blue sky. We have had 2+ months of rainy weather. It's definitely the anti-thesis of typical So Cal. The dogs don't love it, and I am not a fan of having to leave them in the house and go drive home for lunch so they can do their business. I don't get how people in other states where this weather is typical have dogs.

And, as I previously lamented a few months back (I think as far back as Sept/Oct), the economy is now officially in the shitter, and there is talk of stagflation - which turns on my inner "I am so smart" light bulb because I have been thinking that for a while. In light of this latest indirectly Bush-induced cluster f**k, I have put a moratorium on home remodeling projects. No kitchen addition, no pool, no family room addition. None of that. Not for a while. I'm going to make my 60 square foot kitchen work by reorganizing it with all those little cabinet thingies they sell at the Container Store. And I'm fixing the broken drawer.

I have been living with a silverware drawer that has a broken glider for months now. When you close the drawer, it falls off the track with a loud silverware-rattling clang due to a cracked plastic glider. Ends up looks like a drawer front on crack, all tilted funny. I had wonderful dreams of expanding my kitchen and replacing the 20+ yr old cabinets, but, alas, they will have to do for another year or so. Financial uncertainty on the horizon, I am hoarding my cash like a good money control-freak does.

Finally, the weekend is here - hooray! Hubby is away on business, but the parentals (specifically, my large-amounts-of-beer-drinking father) and coming to keep me company white means: Time for beer-tasting!

We are lucky enough here in in the San Diego area to have lots of microbreweries. Lots - I mean, I think there are probably 7-10 within 15 miles of my house. But they are stingy bastards with their operating hours because the majority of them are only open Friday & Saturday afternoons. What is that about? Either way, it'll be fun.

Oh, and I am all blabbers today, turns out Victoria's Secret has some decent pants. I took a chance and ordered a pair of corduroy pants that were on clearance. They were 19.99 and they had "short" length, so I figured why not? It was a good choice because they fit nearly perfectly. They require a shoe with at least a 2-inch heel because I have the shortest legs ever, but overall, very good fit. Even fine around the thigh area which was a shocker, since all pants appear to be modeled for women with impossibly skinny thighs. So, if anyone is reading out there, Vickie's has some bon pantalons.

Ok, enough blathering on, I think I have bored even myself to tears at this point.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Presidents Day

It was nice to have the day off yesterday, though it was hardly restful. At one point, I did nod off while watching a "Flip That House" set in New Orleans, which was an interesting flip of an old Katrina flooded duplex, but I was too beat to keep the peepers open.

The day began with my first ever Mysore class at TM's. I've been to a Mysore class one other time in Chicago with Amy Beth Treciokas, an authorized Ashtanga teacher. And it was pretty similar to Tim's except that there were fewer people in Amy's class and I think I got more adjustments. But the adjustments are definitely more intense than the led classes. At this point, I like them both (led and Mysore). I like led classes because the energy is way more fun in with everyone moving together, but I think you get more attention in a Mysore, which is probably better for "progress" in asanas.

The same 3 poses felt like an exercise in futility, garba pindasana, supta kurmasana, and marichasana D. At least with D, I got into it via muscling by Tim. I am debating whether to bite the bullet and do the unlimited month option, but I'm not sure. I know the hubby wouldn't be thrilled with the expenditure, but then again, as long as I am covering that expense with my teaching, I think it's only fair. The reality is, if I go to even 2 classes a week ($36 * 4.5 (month has somewhere between 4 and 5 weeks)) it's about $162. Unlimited monthly is $170. Seems like it makes some sense, no? Then I'd just go to yoga to my heart's content and actually make some progress in the first series, and maybe lose 5-10 pounds in the process (oh, to be under 110 again). So I think I may be convincing myself to make the plunge... (though, I am worried that going to Ashtanga more than twice is going to make my body crumple into pieces... I am sore enough from twice a week, never mind 5 times...)

The rest of the day was spent cooking and cleaning. I suppose that's what it's like to be a housewife, but without the little buggers to take care of. I swear, it has got to be 100 times harder to be a stay-at-home mom that has to clean and cook, than be a working mom. Just the clean and cook part kicked my ass.

Yesterday consisted of: (1) Practice of primary series, (2) a meticulous vaccuum and mop job of the tile floors, which took an hour, (3) 2 loads of laundry, (4) very minor re-org of kitchen and office, (5) cooked TWO dishes from the Moosewood cookbook, (6) taught yoga at 8pm. In between there, I zonked on the couch. In the evening, my right hand burned with pain from all the sponge squeezing, mop squeezing, and vacuum pushing. It felt better after teaching yoga, but I really did a number on my right hand which is already a little f'd up from likely carpal tunnel.

In addition to a Flip That House marathon, the other show I spent entirely too much time watching was "10 Years Younger" on TLC. It was addictive - watching all the little things they would to do these ladies to make them over. Then I got annoyed at the fact that I will probably never get to be on that show for the free super makeover because I always look 5-10 years younger than my true age. Which is retarded that I would find that annoying, because isn't that what these women want, and I have it, but am annoyed I can't get free shit? Yeah, makes no sense. I make no sense.

Anywho, today is Wisconsin and Hawaii primary and caucus, respectively. I am thinking Obama will win both and am hoping this will give him the momentum he needs to win at least one Ohio or Texas. I think both candidates have it tough because they are minorities and vast majority of the country is still in the stone age with sexism and racism. Either way, it is time for one of them to get this thing over with, and if everyone goes Obama, it's over sooner rather than later. If they go Hillary, it swings back and we are significantly further from this thing being over. So, here's to some "hope" that the Dems voting in the next couple weeks see it the same way and go with Obama.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Wal-Mart: Enough Already

Yesterday I was driving to work and I saw a group of people, in the drizzly cold weather with signs protesting the latest major-store development in town. A new Wal-mart. What really strikes me about this is not so much the latest pave-ification of our open natural space, but the fact that it is another Wal-mart - in this particular location.

Don't get me wrong, it will add a measure of convenience for me since I will pass it daily. I could probably get my oil changed and tires rotated a heck of alot quicker. But the reality is there are already three Wal-marts in my city. Three. In a town of like 130,000 people.This new Wal-mart location is the next (smaller) town south... the distance from this new location to the other Wal-marts? One is 2.6 miles north, another is 4.5 miles east, the third is 6.8 miles northeast. And in the next neighboring city there is yet another Wal-mart, 4.4 miles east.

Do we really need another Wal-mart? Seriously? There aren't enough? We need five within 10 miles? You would think we were all a bunch of red-necks here in coastal San Diego, we can't get enough cheap crap and firearms. Perhaps these are portals to the Wal-mart headquarters in Arkansas.

I mean, can't we get another Target, instead? Or maybe a Whole Foods? We have to drive to La Jolla for a stinkin' Whole Foods, but let's just add another Wal-mart, why not. Apparently we don't have enough access to shittily-made goods.


So, the dogs had an uncomfortable morning yesterday, thanks to I swear, meteorologists must have been using their local crystal ball readers to determine the forecast. Or maybe they called the Psychic Friends Network's 1-900 number, because at 8am I checked the hour-by-hour forecast and it said by 11am it would be partly cloudy and 63. By the time 11am rolled around, it was raining, and maybe 43 degrees. We San Diegans even made national news with a snowstorm that closed Interstate 8, on the drive towards Alpine.

How can you be that wrong? You don't know the weather situation 2 hours in advance with all your computerized weather models? I mean, I should have trusted my eyes, because when I left, it looked pretty f'ing dark to the west, but I figured, with all their fancy-ass equipment and satellites, they must know their shit.

No. They apparently don't even know their asses from their elbows.

So, I ran home around 1pm to let them into the house and they were wet and dirty as all getup. Rusty was all shivery and Nikki was her nutty self, running around, legs caked in mud, smearing it on the tile floor and carpet.

Thank you,, you are the best. Next time share the joint you are smoking with everyone else.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Garba Pindasana

That mother f-ing pose gave me a bruise. At least I think that's where it's from. I mean, I suppose I could have bumped my leg at some point, but I saw it yesterday and then this morning it hurts more (and looks darker) so I'm thinking that the second attempt (Sunday was #1) at garba pindasana has worsened it. Like, mild bruise on Sunday, more moderate bruise on Tuesday.

I am not ready for this stinkin' posture - it drives me bonkers. I am going to attempt with my spray bottle on Thursday & Friday, provided the pooches let me practice in peace (hello, alliteration!). I tried using the sweat from my face this morning (and there was a lot of it); I was literally wiping my face and then putting the moisture on my calves and shins. But to no avail - it was no better than Sunday. I suppose it's still an improvement to even get my hands through up to my wrists - that wasn't even close to possible a few months ago. So, there is improvement, but this one drives me crazy.

I was probably a couple inches away from my fingers touching in Marichasana D (will try a strap or something on Thu/Fri - maybe I can walk them together to touch). So, I think that one will come before supta kurmasana. Another bitch pose. The last two that will happen for me will be garba pindasana and supta kurmasana - I have come to terms with it. I don't like it, but it's reality.

The highlight (for some, at least for me) of the practice was 12 urdhva dhanurasanas. 12. I dropped back on all but 5, and came up on all but 4. I did them all, I almost skipped #11, but came up from the floor instead. It's a good thing I like back bends. Oh, and hanumanasana (split) on the left side was awfully close - like, front thigh an inch or so off the mat; right side is woefully far.

Finally, to Mysore, or not to Mysore (the practice not the city - not traveling to India anytime soon). I am torn; I think it would be good to do Mysore - but I am afraid he'll (Tim Miller) cut of me off at Marichasana D because I can't do it by myself. That would be a bummer since I like the poses that follow, and can do most of them. Or cut me off at garba pindasana because that one is not happening either. I have Monday off (President's day) so I may go to his 7am. I think if I try Mysore he may take me more seriously (meaning give me more instruction) - right now, I'm just a face that shows up to led primary series, once or twice a week, and that's it. I only recently introduced myself (not because I'm disrespectful - probably the opposite - like why would he care to talk to me? But I think that's me being insecure and he would want to talk to anyone that shows up to his classes).

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Can Someone Find my Brain, Please? Anyone?

Seriously. I dragged my ass out of bed this morning thinking, "hmm, still no Aunt Flo, so best get some practice in even if it's Mysore, before she comes a-knockin''". I didn't check the schedule since I know there is Mysore on Wednesday's from 7-9am. Well, how about the moon? Did I check the moon schedule? Noooo. And what's even better is that I really should have known. I read the blog of another Ashtangi yesterday and she even mentions that today is a moon day. On top of that, the last moon day I nearly messed up on was about 2 weeks ago - and what is the moon cycle? 28 days! A moon day every 14-15 days. Ya. So getting up at 5:45am was completely worthless. I could have totally slept in until 6:45am.

So, if you happen to run across my brain as you go about your day, please let me know. I'll try to remember to come get it (though seeing as I don't have my brain, that will be a challenge).

So, Aunt Flo.

Where are you? Its been about 4 weeks now since the first missed pill and the end of the reign of microgestin, and this whole bloating thing totally sucks. Is this what I have been missing? Bloating, and feeling emotional? And back pain? It's crazy how much that pill "regulates". No wonder so many women are on it. Still, I think 9 years is enough, though right now, I would sure love to know when the period is supposed to come, and I would love to lose this lower abdominal bloat. I am still having less munchy hunger, so that is a bonus. So far, the only bonuses have been less munching, not having to pay 10 bucks for the prescription, and not having to take something daily. Not a huge number of pluses, but I suppose I need another month or two before I am back to what could be considered "normal" (though I may never be considered "normal! haha!).

And finally, Super Tuesday = Anti-Climactic

I was hoping that by this morning, some semblance of a leader would be eeked out on the Democratic side, but it is practically tied. Today we know little more than we knew Monday. It is still anyone's game.

It did appear Barack might have picked up more total delegates than Hillary, but they still have yet to complete all the calculations. I don't know that I feel anything either way at this point. I listened to part of both Hillary's and Barack's speeches and I liked them both. I mean, I voted for Barack but when I hear Hillary speak, I think she is just as good. So I guess I am kind of "whatever" about it, aside from the fact that I wish the race be closer to being decided at this point. It looks to me that we won't know anything until maybe March 4th. Another month.

And what totally cracks me up is Romney. He doesn't have a chance - I mean if I were a Republican I may have voted for him, though he does tend to flip-flop quite a bit. But he's probably pretty moderate seeing as he was the gov. of Massachusetts, so thus why I would consider him. However his decision to continue until the convention boggles my mind. Huckabee has more of a chance than he does. Perhaps it is a push to ensure that he is seriously considered for to VP with McCain? I don't know. But it is starting to look more futile for Romney at this point.

Anyway, looks like more primary mumbo-jumbo for a while longer....

Monday, February 4, 2008

Got to be True to Myself

This morning I used my remaining 2 bucks in my iTunes account for two fabulous songs. One is "Seasons of Love" from Rent. I could listen to this song over and over again - I have to be careful with it though because if I get too into the song the inner emotional freak in me comes out. I actually felt myself get that near tears feeling when I was singing along this morning - the story line, lyrics, and melody just get to me. I'm a dork. I'll cry at almost any movie :o)

The other song I downloaded, I first heard on Friday night. The hubby was at a work party (a drink-fest, really, but anyway...) so I decided to take a first series class up in the OC. For savasana, the teacher (who was fun - good vibe in that class) played "True to Myself" by Ziggy Marley. It is such a feel-good song - I think Barack should use this song for his campaign or something. It's catchy - it has a good message, especially for him who, in my opinion, is running a campaign that is truthful and open. It was a rather odd song to play for savasana since it made it a little hard to sink down into stillness and completely relax, but, nevertheless, I am happy to have been presented with a new song to play over and over and over again because I am OCD like that.

As far as practice goes, it was great. I had a breakthrough in one asana -- I achieved something that has been alluding me for months (about 6 months, really, that I have been attempting it).

I came back up to standing from urdhva dhanurasana (backbend). Unassisted!

The first one, she gave me a lift and then said, I could do it myself (as I have heard from several teachers now who have helped me stand up). So the second one I went for it, with a key tip from the teacher: to push my hips forward as I come up. And it totally happened! I literally jumped around like a giddy 5-year-old afterwards - and I managed to do it again - twice - yesterday with even more "umph", so, I think I finally have it! Practice, practice, practice! It's what I like about Ashtanga - you don't constantly worry about precise form and alignment, you just do it. Just practice, it will come and don't worry about when it will come, just keep trying. Even if you have to try for years, just do it, don't think about it! Good for me because I think and over-analyze ad nauseum.

Tomorrow will be a weird day. In the morning I'll be going to vote (Yay! I love to vote! Go Barack!) in place of Tuesday morning Ashtanga practice (Booo! I have no other time to go since I have to teach at night); then in the evening I'll have to go teach my level 1 where I'll probably have to interact with the male studio owner (Blah, due to situation described in previous entry). I am looking forward to next week though where I believe they will be away on a retreat so I won't have to see either of them. I'll probably avoid any small-talk/conversation because I want to squash any misguided thoughts that I am even remotely open to the previous proposition. And I can't help worrying a little about safety - like I mean, I don't think he's a wacko, but you never know. So, I am going to be expeditious in packing up at the end, I'm not sticking around any longer than I have to. It is just so UGH. That is all I can say about. Ugh and Blah.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Before I Forget, Because This is a Doozy...

I teach a level 1 class once a week at a studio owned by a married couple; they are probably somehere in the 45-50 age range (about 20 years old than me). The wife teaches several classes there, the husband helps more with admin type stuff. Generally, either he or she is manning the front desk (sign-in, payment, etc) and sits there during the class (not in view, thankfully). Mostly, I see him there (I think I have seen her for maybe 3-4 classes in 6 months). Anyway, I've been teaching there about 6 months now and it is my favorite class. The students are great - there is a really warm energy, and I have grown a really great rapport with them. Generally, I leave the studio feeling good, happy, cheerful, etc.

By nature, I am a talker. I am a chatty gal. So I have always spent 5-10 minutes talking with the owner (whichever half is present) after class. This is me enjoying people and being nice. Right?

Well, this past week, I left that place, not in my usually happy mood but, baffled and a little freaked out. The conversation with the male-half of the studio ownership went something like this:

Him: (walking up to me) "So, I have a hypothetical question for you"
Me: (holding all my gear, mat bag on shoulder) "Ok..."
Him: "There's this guy, that owns a studio, and there's this teacher, at the studio, that is beautiful. She's hot."
Me: (feeling the red flush starting to flow up to my neck to my face as I fight it down, thinking, "oh, no") "k..."
Him: "And he's tested the waters with her in conversations and the results are inconclusive! So he's thinks he might just go for it, and ask her if she would like a massage. What do you think, should he go for it?" (something like that, I don't remember exact words)
Me: (oh shit, oh, shit! This can't be happening. Ok. He said hypothetical, let's pretend it's hypothetical and not me) "Well, I tend to play things safe, I don't usually go for things like that. I mean, if you go for it, you might risk getting a negative answer"
Him: "Yes that's true"
Me: "And you might create weird tension, and then that teacher might not want to stay..."
Him: (interrupting): "oh, no, he doesn't want that."
Me: "So, I would probably go with the safe route and keep it professional."
Me: (starting to walk away), "but it's your call, I mean, it's up to you."
Him: (I'm still walking away... calling after me) "Chacha, so you really thought that was a hypothetical?"
Me: (thinking: "NO, but I was trying to be NICE and avoid an icky situation by going along with the story!") "Well, yeah. Why? Were you talking about me?"
Him: "Yes"
Me: "Well, I'm flattered but I'm married," (thinking: and you are too! WTF?!), "I don't think my husband would appreciate another man giving me a massage. I mean, my shoulder is sore but," (I had mentioned it to my class before we started, he may have overheard it -- it's a one room, small studio) "I think he'd much rather he be the one that does that"

Then I proceeded to make some small-talk (just to clean the awkward slate) about an upcoming event at the studio and also the upcoming primary since we have talked politics before and I can go on and on about that stuff. As I go to leave, I say, have a good night, and he says something about making a fool of himself. I respond that I'm sorry, I'm married, etc, etc, and head out.

I am still freaked out by this.

I don't know what to make of it. I mean, my being talkative and friendly means that I am giving off the "hit on me regardless of being married" vibe? What? I don't know. Aside that I have a longer drive to get to this studio, I love this class and the people. I don't want to give it up - but do I stay after this?

And what about his wife? I mean, I intentionally left that out of the conversation since I have no idea what their relationship is like and didn't even want to go there (the only place I wanted to go, was under a rock, scuttling away like a cockroach). For all I know, they could have an open relationship and this kind of thing is ok, or maybe they are swingers, who knows. What if they're not, though? She may not have a clue. And am I the only teacher he has approached or are there others? And then what if she doesn't know and his defensive act to my rejection is to tell her I hit on him? I can go on and on but I have told myself (quite successfully, I must say) to stop analyzing the scenarios because it is not within my control at this point.

I could have done without this type of male attention this week. I really did not need an older male married "employer", l, hitting on me. I think it affected my mood for several days because up until yesterday, I have felt generally "blah" and down. The only things I could attribute to my mood were hormones or this recent shenanigan, but since I am feeling a little lighter today I think it's probably not hormones and more likely emotional fall-out. I think it sort of tainted the good feelings I had for that teaching arrangement, and I no longer really feel that desire to go teach there like I did before :(

What is this? Like, the fact that I had some secret enjoyment from getting hit on my the young gym hottie last week resulted in negative karma manifesting as a 50-something, non-hottie, employer hitting on me? Ugh.