Before I Forget, Because This is a Doozy...

I teach a level 1 class once a week at a studio owned by a married couple; they are probably somehere in the 45-50 age range (about 20 years old than me). The wife teaches several classes there, the husband helps more with admin type stuff. Generally, either he or she is manning the front desk (sign-in, payment, etc) and sits there during the class (not in view, thankfully). Mostly, I see him there (I think I have seen her for maybe 3-4 classes in 6 months). Anyway, I've been teaching there about 6 months now and it is my favorite class. The students are great - there is a really warm energy, and I have grown a really great rapport with them. Generally, I leave the studio feeling good, happy, cheerful, etc.

By nature, I am a talker. I am a chatty gal. So I have always spent 5-10 minutes talking with the owner (whichever half is present) after class. This is me enjoying people and being nice. Right?

Well, this past week, I left that place, not in my usually happy mood but, baffled and a little freaked out. The conversation with the male-half of the studio ownership went something like this:

Him: (walking up to me) "So, I have a hypothetical question for you"
Me: (holding all my gear, mat bag on shoulder) "Ok..."
Him: "There's this guy, that owns a studio, and there's this teacher, at the studio, that is beautiful. She's hot."
Me: (feeling the red flush starting to flow up to my neck to my face as I fight it down, thinking, "oh, no") "k..."
Him: "And he's tested the waters with her in conversations and the results are inconclusive! So he's thinks he might just go for it, and ask her if she would like a massage. What do you think, should he go for it?" (something like that, I don't remember exact words)
Me: (oh shit, oh, shit! This can't be happening. Ok. He said hypothetical, let's pretend it's hypothetical and not me) "Well, I tend to play things safe, I don't usually go for things like that. I mean, if you go for it, you might risk getting a negative answer"
Him: "Yes that's true"
Me: "And you might create weird tension, and then that teacher might not want to stay..."
Him: (interrupting): "oh, no, he doesn't want that."
Me: "So, I would probably go with the safe route and keep it professional."
Me: (starting to walk away), "but it's your call, I mean, it's up to you."
Him: (I'm still walking away... calling after me) "Chacha, so you really thought that was a hypothetical?"
Me: (thinking: "NO, but I was trying to be NICE and avoid an icky situation by going along with the story!") "Well, yeah. Why? Were you talking about me?"
Him: "Yes"
Me: "Well, I'm flattered but I'm married," (thinking: and you are too! WTF?!), "I don't think my husband would appreciate another man giving me a massage. I mean, my shoulder is sore but," (I had mentioned it to my class before we started, he may have overheard it -- it's a one room, small studio) "I think he'd much rather he be the one that does that"

Then I proceeded to make some small-talk (just to clean the awkward slate) about an upcoming event at the studio and also the upcoming primary since we have talked politics before and I can go on and on about that stuff. As I go to leave, I say, have a good night, and he says something about making a fool of himself. I respond that I'm sorry, I'm married, etc, etc, and head out.

I am still freaked out by this.

I don't know what to make of it. I mean, my being talkative and friendly means that I am giving off the "hit on me regardless of being married" vibe? What? I don't know. Aside that I have a longer drive to get to this studio, I love this class and the people. I don't want to give it up - but do I stay after this?

And what about his wife? I mean, I intentionally left that out of the conversation since I have no idea what their relationship is like and didn't even want to go there (the only place I wanted to go, was under a rock, scuttling away like a cockroach). For all I know, they could have an open relationship and this kind of thing is ok, or maybe they are swingers, who knows. What if they're not, though? She may not have a clue. And am I the only teacher he has approached or are there others? And then what if she doesn't know and his defensive act to my rejection is to tell her I hit on him? I can go on and on but I have told myself (quite successfully, I must say) to stop analyzing the scenarios because it is not within my control at this point.

I could have done without this type of male attention this week. I really did not need an older male married "employer", l, hitting on me. I think it affected my mood for several days because up until yesterday, I have felt generally "blah" and down. The only things I could attribute to my mood were hormones or this recent shenanigan, but since I am feeling a little lighter today I think it's probably not hormones and more likely emotional fall-out. I think it sort of tainted the good feelings I had for that teaching arrangement, and I no longer really feel that desire to go teach there like I did before :(

What is this? Like, the fact that I had some secret enjoyment from getting hit on my the young gym hottie last week resulted in negative karma manifesting as a 50-something, non-hottie, employer hitting on me? Ugh.


  1. Sorry this happened...someone else's ickiness contaminated your pleasantness...not your fault ever


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