Monday, February 4, 2008

Got to be True to Myself

This morning I used my remaining 2 bucks in my iTunes account for two fabulous songs. One is "Seasons of Love" from Rent. I could listen to this song over and over again - I have to be careful with it though because if I get too into the song the inner emotional freak in me comes out. I actually felt myself get that near tears feeling when I was singing along this morning - the story line, lyrics, and melody just get to me. I'm a dork. I'll cry at almost any movie :o)

The other song I downloaded, I first heard on Friday night. The hubby was at a work party (a drink-fest, really, but anyway...) so I decided to take a first series class up in the OC. For savasana, the teacher (who was fun - good vibe in that class) played "True to Myself" by Ziggy Marley. It is such a feel-good song - I think Barack should use this song for his campaign or something. It's catchy - it has a good message, especially for him who, in my opinion, is running a campaign that is truthful and open. It was a rather odd song to play for savasana since it made it a little hard to sink down into stillness and completely relax, but, nevertheless, I am happy to have been presented with a new song to play over and over and over again because I am OCD like that.

As far as practice goes, it was great. I had a breakthrough in one asana -- I achieved something that has been alluding me for months (about 6 months, really, that I have been attempting it).

I came back up to standing from urdhva dhanurasana (backbend). Unassisted!

The first one, she gave me a lift and then said, I could do it myself (as I have heard from several teachers now who have helped me stand up). So the second one I went for it, with a key tip from the teacher: to push my hips forward as I come up. And it totally happened! I literally jumped around like a giddy 5-year-old afterwards - and I managed to do it again - twice - yesterday with even more "umph", so, I think I finally have it! Practice, practice, practice! It's what I like about Ashtanga - you don't constantly worry about precise form and alignment, you just do it. Just practice, it will come and don't worry about when it will come, just keep trying. Even if you have to try for years, just do it, don't think about it! Good for me because I think and over-analyze ad nauseum.

Tomorrow will be a weird day. In the morning I'll be going to vote (Yay! I love to vote! Go Barack!) in place of Tuesday morning Ashtanga practice (Booo! I have no other time to go since I have to teach at night); then in the evening I'll have to go teach my level 1 where I'll probably have to interact with the male studio owner (Blah, due to situation described in previous entry). I am looking forward to next week though where I believe they will be away on a retreat so I won't have to see either of them. I'll probably avoid any small-talk/conversation because I want to squash any misguided thoughts that I am even remotely open to the previous proposition. And I can't help worrying a little about safety - like I mean, I don't think he's a wacko, but you never know. So, I am going to be expeditious in packing up at the end, I'm not sticking around any longer than I have to. It is just so UGH. That is all I can say about. Ugh and Blah.

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