The DMV is Like the First Circle of Hell

Like some kind of purgatory, waiting for your number to get called with the partly unwashed masses. "Now serving B104 at window 11." Now serving a waste of an hour complete with weirdos and utter boredom.

I made an appointment to re-title my car, since I just paid it off and therefore need a title in my name - not the bank's (yipee!). This is the first time I have ever owned my car, having paid off my loan. I figured there was probably a way to do this without having to go in, but after cruising the online site and forms, I didn't come up with what exactly I had to do. And I felt a little scared sending off my newly received title to the DMV and having it lost (I had garnered that I had to give it to them and pay some fee). If it got lost, that would be bad. So I made an appointment. Normally, when you make an appointment, you get to skip the ridiculous wait.

Well, today started out as one of *those* days and I should have expected that it would just continue that way. First, I forgot the title paperwork, so I had to make a trip back home. Crap. Ok, so I high-tail it home and then back to the DMV, getting there 5 minutes before my appointment. Sweet! I approach the entrance to the parking lot and there is a police car blocking the exit because there was an ACCIDENT in the parking lot of the Department of Motor Fucking Vehicles. Probably because the lot was an absolute circus - full to the max and a bunch of idiot drivers mulling around looking for spots. This was a bad sign. I get through the lot to the other exit knowing I have to park on the street. Lovely - since this is what a bajillion other people are doing, driving around looking for a spot. After a quick search I find a spot and manage to parallel park on the first try (I was pretty proud of myself).

I run (RUN!) to the entrance of the building. At this point I am a few minutes late. I get to the counter, explain that I had an appointment, am a few minutes late, and need to re-title my car. He is all: "Oh, just taking the bank off and putting your name on?", like it's as easy as wiping yoru ass, "Simple, here you go" and gives me a number.

I sat and waited for an HOUR. Looks like he didn't give two shits about my appointment and had me wait with the masses (some were clearly in the UNWASHED masses category). Two nice folks were sitting next to me and they were there because they were LATE on their registration fees. And bitching about the late fees (um, don't pay it late then). Here I am, all law-abiding, pay my fee on-time, always, just trying to get this little thing done.

After waiting an hour, I get served, and it's literally like 90 seconds to complete my request. Pay 15 bucks, get a new registration card issued. I ask her "Is there any other way I can do this next time, so I can avoid this whole waiting for an hour [bullshit]" (didn't actually say "bullshit" but wanted to). She responds "Yeah, just send this in with a check."


Now, I am partly to blame for not calling and asking, but in the past I have made an appointment with the DMV (up in LA) and I was in and out in like 10 minutes. So, I figured, same deal here, and I can get it done and ask exactly what I need to do when the other car gets paid off.

But what I am really peeved about is the triage guy at the front - if all I had to do was SEND IT IN WITH A CHECK, why didn't he tell me: "You know, you can just send this in with a check if you prefer not to wait an hour."

Seriously? How hard would that have been to just tell me this little tidbit of information? If I wanted to wait, I would have said "Thank you, but I have all the time in the world so I will wait", or maybe I would have said "Really? Oh, I'll just do that and avoid this WHOLE FUCKING MESS."

Yeah, so DMV? Dante needs to put this place as one of his nine circles of hell.


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