Where Have I Been?

Well, I'll tell ya what.

What.

Ha! No, actually my head space has been completely consumed by all things stressful. And whatever thing should not be all that stressful, I will make stressful because that is all that I can cram into my head at this point. Only stressful things.

The kitchen is slowly moving along. 80% of the framing is complete - took about 4 days (longer than I expected). Still looks like war-zone. The dishwasher has been out on the back patio since Saturday. Waiting for unexpected California rain to ruin it and make me spend more money. I managed to get very little sleep Tuesday night (maybe 4 hours) because, like I said earlier, if it isn't meant to be cause anxiety, I will generate it on my own. On Tuesday, the framing dude framed out the pass-through which is in a load bearing wall. Load bearing, like, holding up my master bedroom. It was like 90% done that evening; instead of a doubled 2x6 at the top of the opening, he only had a single 2x6 (looks like he had run out of lumber at that point), which, really, the second floor was not going to come crashing down, the single 2x6 was sufficient in the short-term, but you bet your ass that as I laid in bed I heard every house-settling noise and assumed we were sagging further towards falling down through the floor. And that no way in hell could we convince the insurance companies to pay for it, never mind they are all going friggin' bankrupt.

Speaking of the bankrupt, we have now spent around $2500 on this project, and have yet to do electrical, complete the plumbing, drywall, cabinets, etc, etc, etc. We will easily hit $12,000 and that does not include flooring. All this, while the economy is getting flushed down a commercial-grade turbo-flush toilet. I can't help worrying that I may not have a job in a couple months. The company I work for is not yet profitable, our stock is now WELL UNDER a dollar (ummm, can you say "delisted"?), so, how likely are more job cuts? I would guess that it is something that might be considered if the financial and credit markets continue to disintegrate.

Then yesterday a brush fire broke out on Camp Pendleton, which, in the afternoon didn't seem like a big deal, but when I drove home from teaching my yoga class, it was dark, and it was much larger than it was earlier. Last year, the fires were horrible, however, we never physically saw any fires from our house since we were 7 miles from the closest one. Well, last night, I actually saw fire. Could see it from my front window. I was a little freaked out. Sure, it was blowing away from us, but at 1000 acres, it wasn't that small a fire and seeing actual flames freaked my shit out. As of this morning, it is like 90% contained, but I'm a little shell-shocked from last year.

Basically, everything right now feels stressful. We have to finish the kitchen, have no choice there, however, I am feeling nervous about spending money as I don't feel like my job is secure. Job prospects right now, are far fewer than they were even 3 months ago. I read that if the credit markets don't get loosened, California will run out of unemployment benefits by March as we now have a state-wide unemployment rate of 7.7%. One of the highest in the country. Doesn't give me a warm fuzzy, folks.

So, yeah. I wish I had some lighter material for you folks, but figured I should write SOMETHING even if it is depress-O. Hopefully y'all are not having the agita that I am having...

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