Friday, April 11, 2008

I am Short and I Should Have Stock-piled Gasoline in 2001

My Asics are strangling my feet - just had to undo them before I lost complete feeling in my toes.

So this morning I was laying in Savasana unable to stop my mind from running around and the thought occurred to me that maybe I was supposed to be a dwarf. Like off by one protein in a chromosome. This whole Ashtanga practice has shown me that I have short arms, long torso, short legs (making some poses a struggle). Not that I hadn't known this before. But if you've watched any "Little People, Big World" you'll see that the little people all have long torsos and short limbs. Of course, more pronounced than yours truly, but it sure does feel like I got real close to being what I would consider a clinical dwarf. Like maybe I am 4 inches away - and if they came off my limbs, you can bet your ass I'd be a dwarf. Meh.

I forgot to mention that a couple weekends ago we attended the crazy exhibition game in LA between the Dodgers and the Red Sox where 115,000 people attended. I'm not sure if it broke the record or not, but they were attempting to have the largest audience to a sporting event ever. As far as I know, they succeeded in breaking the record. Overall, it was not that much fun. We got stuck in field seats - which meant you were on the field, far away from home plate, peering through chain-link fencing, at the same elevation as the players. When you're short, this pretty much means you ain't seein' shit. And to add insult to injury, the big screens they had up didn't even show the batter in action - like pitch coming in, swinging the bat, etc. WHY HAVE BIG SCREENS THEN? Besides the fact that I didn't really get to watch the Sox pummel the Dodgers, I was also wondering when I was going to get beaten down for wearing a Boston Red Sox hat. Seriously? Dodger fans are scary. Like, half the people looked like they were there for a gang reunion. At one point while walking to our "seats" security was chasing a dude down for something. Who knows what. They ended up tackling him. So, yeah. It was interesting, to say the least. Probably the only smallest of positives to come out of it is that I get to say I attended the sporting event with the largest audience in history. And lived. Glad my hat made it out with me.

And one more thing. I got turned onto Dooce by June GonnaEatThat, formerly known as June CutoffCash, and because I am a dork, I began reading the Dooce's blog from her first post (and loving it thus far). At one point, around early December 2001, she put photos up where she shows an Arco sign. With gas prices. Holy Shit Shinola. $1.01 for a gallon. Is anyone reading this? People, a single dollar and a single cent. For a gallon. In LA. We are now looking at $3.70/gallon. If we talk inflation - wjhich averages 3% per year, times 7 years, is 21%. We should be around $1.30-1.50/ gallon. The increase we have now is 270% since December 2001. WTF. No, really. WTF.

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