On this One, I Tell My Subconscious to Bite Me.

I had a baby-shower to attend this weekend up in LA (literally, LA, not a suburb; surprisingly, traffic was not a complete cluster-fuck). The soon-to-be parents of a baby girl are good friends (even if they unknowingly stole my girl baby name which I've had reserved for 3 years! I will still use it, gosh-darn it) - the "Dad" is a former co-worker I've known for nearly 6 years who actually flew all the way to New England from Cali for my wedding. So I was happy to be buying them some stuff for the little one. Anyway, so Friday night I went a-shopping at the local "premium outlets" (which means the prices are not really outlet prices, but anyway) -- Carter's to be specific. Well, the impossibly tiny baby clothes got the better of me because I spent over 100 bucks. This is a little much for me, I tend to be a thrifty person - a saver/penny-pincher, if you will. I bought outfits and onesies for newborn, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months.

Is this my subconscious again telling me something? If so, I am telling it to get a hold of itself because the common-sense part of my brain wants no part of it.

The shower was co-ed, which was of course, a deviation from the norm, but this group of former co-workers of mine have always been a deviation from the norm. And that's why I like them. It was a baby shower complete with snacky-type foods, cake, beer, champagne, vodka, and, if you can believe it, shots. Yes, shots. Their neighbor (who has kids, by the way) insisted on at least one shot, so I obliged with some tequila.

I'd say, at least once an hour, one of them would prod me about when I was going to have a baby. Pretty much every time I hang out with them, they bug me about this. In fact, even other people I know do the same which I brush aside, but it's like, what's the deal? Just because I am almost 30, is this something I am just expected to be doing? That I must start having children NOW. Right away. Let's go. Pop 'em out, already.

I mean, if my subconscious wants a baby and that's why I bought 15 million cute baby outfits, then I'm telling said subconscious to screw off. Or at least screw off for at least another year or two.

Honestly, though I think this spender-bender is more likely related to my other psychosis that I can thank my mother for passing on to me: the propensity to hoard and save cashola. I actually love shopping, and buying for someone else is a good excuse to spend. I tend to feel bad about spending an appreciable amount of money on myself. I wasn't this way in the past (probably less than 4 years ago), but as I get older, and have big bills like a massive mortgage that requires more than one income to pay, I am hoarding more. Not sure if this is good or bad. So I am going chalk up my baby-clothes shopping spree to a release of the internal money-control-freak who felt a strong urge to be generous, and not the bah-humbug that I normally am.


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