Monday, January 7, 2008

Headlights Always On

My headlights are always on. Not the ones on my car, the ones on my body. It is a serious problem. At least seriously embarrassing. Take this morning, for example. I was walking to restroom all "la-dee-da", pass a male co-worker, say hi, then look down, hello, headlights. I mean, what can people be thinking when they walk past me? That I am in a persistent state of arousal? It's ridiculous. It's fairly often that I am completely aware of it and am walking around the hallways with my arms crossed, covering my chest (which I'm sure is also a curious way to be walking around when most people let their hands fall by their sides).

I think that 99% of the time it's because I am cold (I am always cold. I don't know what the other 1% can be attributed to). But am I supposed to walk around bundled up like an eskimo all the time? Or wear a padded brassiere? Then I will be walking around with a larger chest area, that'll sure help me feel less self-conscious. Not so much.

I don't know. This smuggling raisins thing is not my cup of tea. Maybe Pasties? That can't be comfortable.

The Cold

So my childhood friend that I've known for 24 years came to visit us from New York last week and do you know what she gave us for Christmas?

A cold.

I had just been touting to co-workers at last Friday's meeting how I don't really get sick, and then 6 hours later, I felt it coming on. She was stuffed up and sniffly all week so I suppose it was just a matter of time. A day or so after my symptoms bubbled up, the hubby come down with it, so we are both down for the count. I am telling you, more sickness runs around the Northeast than here because had she not brought it with her I would not have gotten sick. Ever since I've been out here in California (going on 8 years), I no longer get the yearly cold/flu. Maybe once every two years. There was a point where I went over 2 years without any cold, whatsoever. This past year, however, has been less than ideal; I came down with something back in April after the hullabaloo of selling/buying houses and moving ourselves from Elsinore to Oceanside. Less than a year later I now have another cold. Luckily, it has been a relatively mild cold, perhaps because I am popping Zicam like an addict. I am a walking vessel of Zinc and Vitamin C. My pee has been tinged slightly green for the last 3 days from all the vitamins and minerals I am ingesting.

Either way I am so over it. This doesn't make me want to have kids either (because for sure, the little bugger/s will get me sick, at minimum, annually).

1 comment:

  1. Dude, buy thicker bras. The slight padding will not make you look significantly bigger!

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