Saturday, August 18, 2007

Ok, OUCH!?

1. The Cure is a Shot in the Ass

Well turns out my pancreatitis really wasn't pancreatitis . Are we suprised? No. Anyway, I went into urgent care on the Sunday following my self-diagnosis as the pain was still there and not improving. I get every test they can probably do at that urgent care facility - EKG (which was like nothing but some thingies pasted to parts of your body and you sit there for maybe 5 seconds and that's it. Very anti-climactic.), blood test, urine test, ribe cage x-ray, etc. They conclude it's something muscular (after 3 hours of this). At this point, I'm feeling a little sheepish with my internal organ failure theory. Anyway, so the nurse tells me the doctor has prescribed a pain medicine shot (torodol) along with a prescription for NSAIDS. She tells me that it can burn so the best place to deliver the shot is in my hip (which is really the upper part of my butt). OK. Expose the upper part of my ass, here comes the shot. Holy Ow! Wow. I mean, at first you feel the pinch, ok, whatever. But then a wave of burning pain in your "hip" comes about 3 seconds later and lasts a good minute. Believe it or not , it is now 10 days later and when I press on the area, it hurts. And this pain stuff took an hour to do any good for my back/side pain. Seemed like a good way to take my mind of the back pain and deflect it to my butt.

Anyway, it is better now, not completely, but mostly. I can go back to my Ashtanga yoga and teaching without grimacing so it's close to 100% in my book.

2. To Obama or Not to Obama.

Where to begin. I am really at a loss on what to think about the upcoming primary. I am not gungo-ho AT ALL about any of the candidates. I wish Gore would just ante-up and get into the race already. Basically, 8 years of dubya have made me extremely risk-averse. And by that I mean, I am scared to back a candidate that mainstream America might not accept (i.e. woman or African American). We are a country that has so far to go on social equality - sure the metropolitan areas are a different story where diversity is more prevalent. However, the rest of the country consists of small towns that are predominantly white and Christian. Will they vote for a woman? Not sure, especially if she is Hillary Clinton. A black man? Again, not sure. So I am gun shy on the both of them.

The thing with Obama is that there is alot of "buzz" surrounding him. He is the "hip" candidate - he is in his early 40s, intelligent and handsome, focused and driven. R&B and rap industry artists name drop him in songs - I mean, while it's refreshing and kinda cool - is it viable? And by that I mean, is this publicity we are seeing from Hollywood and the music industry truly a reflection of sustainable popularity that will result in a candidate with the ability to beat a white, Christian Republican male?

This is the rub. I really don't know that I want to vote for Edwards but the thought of 4 more years with a Republican president makes me seriously consider it.

3. Latest Home Improvement Idea (I must say, I am v. proud of this one!)

I would post a Visio diagram of my latest idea if I could but I don't have it and the new company computer doesn't have it either :o( It's ok though, my drawings are pretty good! Anyway, I think the best improvement project is a kitchen expansion - a small addition to the first floor adjacent to the dining room and nook area. It'll be an extra 130 sf which by just $/sf adds close to 40K in home value, but I am hoping the project will cost 25K or less (since we would be doing alot of the work ourselves, like installing the cabinets and tile counters, as well as tiling the floors - these are items that cost alot in labor!). So, when the new job settles a little I will see about getting some estimates from general contractors on how much a "just walls with electric and plumbing rough-ins" 130 sf addition would cost. I am hopeful it is doable because I am desperately in need of more space in the kitchen (it's like 80 sf right now) and it's really cramped in the dining "nook" area (with the dog food bin and bowls and such). Then pool will be after that (hoping that the addition will add enough value to the house that a 3rd mortgage or a refi of the 2nd will result in some additional capital (without maxing out to 100% LTV - want to keep it at 90% LTV) that could be used for the backyard pool project).

4. The Neighbors are Nocturnal... [harumph!]

Yeah, we thought it was just their rambunctious, inconsiderate, college-aged son that was going to be disturbing our sleep at 1am with parties but in reality he is more considerate than his middle-aged parents. He chose to have his loud get-together on a Saturday night when it's not that bad to be kept up because you can catch up on Sunday. His parents, instead, chose to do it on a Thursday night (um, work night!!!?). Apparently, their daughter and 2 young children arrived that night and they just HAD to use the pool... at MIDNIGHT! It's great to be sound asleep, in REM sleep no less, and be woken up by yelling little boys. Now, she had mentioned that the previous owners did not like it when they had "night swims". Um, to me, a "night swim" is not 1am nor does it involve yelling. That's just rude.

So, at this point, if my dogs bother them with barking during the daylight hours, they can EAT ME because I have to put up with "night swimming".

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Viva [insert inappropriate reference here]!

1. State of the economy - another recession? Already? what?

This is how I know that I am still a youngin'. The reality is that the economy cycles. It is not completely whack that we are on the brink of another recession because the last one was nearly 7 years ago (and the one previous to that was somewhere in the 92-94 timeframe from what I've been reading, so 7-10 years, about right). But to me, it feels like it just happened - and boy, do I remember the last one. Everything is all bright and shiney, all dot-com-ey, yay! there was Webvan and Kozmo, Yahoo stock was $400 a share, and then WHAP! all to crap. Laid off 6 months out of school. And then laid off again 1 year after that. So, understandably, recessions give me serious agita, like a pavlovian response. I already have a predisposition of imagining the absolute worst outcome of every situation, so this looming recession compounded with starting the new job soon, is not ideal. Luckily, I am pretty good and talking myself out of the illogical. Sometimes. (see #3)

2. Soy Industry= Evil Empire. Right.

The last time we went to Trader Joe's they were all out of the TJ's brand vanilla soy milk. Now, I am lactose intolerant, mostly with milk, cream, and ice cream (yogurt and cheese thankfully are ok) so I generally use soy milk for cereal. And I will have tofu on occasion and tempeh. From what I have read, soy can be excellent for heart health, lowering LDL (bad cholesterol), and triglycerides. The list goes on, but I figure, hey, why not eat some more soy, sounds like it's good for me.

Anyway, so, like usual, the cashier asks if I was able to find everything I needed. I mentioned that yeah, but all the TJ's brand vanilla soy milk was out. She says that it's not really good for you anyway and goes on a monologue about it's all going to come out that soy is bad for you, it caused her to have pre-menopause, her chemist friends have said it's bad, etc, etc, etc, and etc. I mention that there is alot of research out there indicating there are many benefits to soy. She says that it's the soy producers/industry (like it's a huge money industry) creating the hype and it's all going to come out, and that people in Asia really don't eat that much soy, it's an exaggeration. (Now, the pre-menopause comment is really curious to me because soy generally increases the levels of estrogen in your body, and menopause is the decrease of estrogen, so usually, people will intake soy to HELP their menopausal symptoms. So I didn't get that one, that soy caused her pre-menopause, unless the estrogen level increase caused her body to respond with higher levels of testosterone, but that seems like a stretch. Anyway, I digress)

Now, I did not ask for Trader Joe's cashier opinion of the true health benefits of soy and generally, when I hear this type of alarmist argument I tend not to take seriously the words spewing from the person's mouth. To me, it's similar to the discussions I would have with Atkin's diet fanatics, that the sugar industry is so huge and it's putting out bad press about atkins, suger is the devil, etc. To me, when it comes to food - it's moderation. If you overdo anything when it comes to eating, you are asking for trouble. I am not going to cut any food group out of my diet because of some study funded by biased groups with hidden agendas. I will eat soy, salt, bread, carbs, candy. All in moderation. Whatever. (unless of course, said food item gives me gastrointestinal distress - like whipped cream. We all want me to avoid whipped cream, at least if you are within 20 feet of me).

3. Mild Pancreatitis or Moderate Hypochondria?

I had some weird discomfort on the left side of my back around the bottom of my ribcage last night. I went to bed, woke up and it's worse (more like pain when I dip my left shoulder down - shortening the left side of my torso). Well, this made me think of all my internal organs and narrowed down the pancreas on the left side. I mean, the symptoms, the risk factors, causes, I don't really fit the bill entirely. I am not an alcoholic (though I did have a few miller lites last night), I am not overweight, I eat alot of fiber, have a low-fat diet high in carbs, low in meat, my glucose levels have been fine the last 4 years of blood tests at work. But I can't help wondering if I have pancreatic cancer or something. I know, talk about finding the absolute worst case scenario to dwell on (it's probably the worst cancer you can get along with esophageal cancer).

Anyway, it's still possible I pulled something yesterday and I'm sore, or I have something milder like gallstones causing very mild pacreatitis. Either way, I am well overdue for an all-out physical (it's been something like 10 years), and if this pain gets worse or stays the same over the next few days, I will probably hit a walk-in or something. But for now, I am just going to plan on getting a standard physical in the next couple of weeks (after I start the new job), bring my company bloodwork in, and get some of my likely absurd conclusions cleared up.

4. The Ridiculousness of Viagra Commericials. I mean Really.

I turned on CNN the other morning (tangent: because I am trying to get with the program and know a little about what's going on in the rest of the country and world) while unloading the dishwasher and feeding the dogs. I see this commercial on where they are singing verses set to "Viva Last Vegas" and it's like a bunch of dudes in like a garage-blues-rock band. One guy is playing the piano on a Story & Clark upright grand. I'm like, "interesting, cool instruments". They get to the chorus: "Viva Viagra!"

What? Seriously?

I don't get that. Why in God's Holy Name would you sing "Viva Viagra". I mean, all that makes me think is that you guys are a bunch of losers who can't get it up. It's not flattering. At All. They all need to stop. Viagra, Cialis, the other one with the stupid 50's commercials with the dude in the pool who loses his shorts and then all the ladies look at his weiner and smile.

It's getting a little much all this tv promotion relating to erectile dysfunction. For the love of Pete, just quit it already. We all know it's an issue - so is my hypochondria or pancreatitis, do you see a bunch of commericials on that? Throw me a bone here, people.

5. And, finally, I love DMB's #41

I had forgotten how much I loved it until it just came on now courtesy of Hubby. Definitely my favorte Dave Matthews song.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Let's Try This Again

As far as unfinished projects and false-starts go, I think blogging is my worst offender. No doubt. Honestly, I have created entirely too many retarded-fewer-than-10-post blogs. I think I might be up to 4 - this will be number 4 and maybe I can try to make myself actually write to it even though, let's face it, few people will be reading it.

Anyway. So, the title. Might as well start there.

I type fast. Seriously. It never occurred to me that I did, until co-workers started mentioning it, and apparently, if I am in a particularly frisky typing-mood it can get a little loud (read: annoying to some). So, my then-cube-neighbor cleverly coined me as "Thunderfingers". So here I am. Sounded like a good blog name and is somewhat computer-internet-related, leading into blogging, yada yada.

I know, not all that creative nor is the really connected to blogging, but honestly, I don't have the mental patience to conjure up something better, I just wanna blog - OK?

Henceforth we shall forge ahead to more useless drivel!

1. My Horrible Mop

I have been in search for a good floor cleaning implement. Got any good recommendations? I have yet to find it. I bought this piece of crap at Wal-Mart (I know, why do I go to Walmart, really, it's out of convenience not principle) a few weeks ago hoping that I found the answer. Nope. Completely sucks. I have red-irritated palms to prove it because it can't clean a floor for shit! I had to use excessive force to get anything out of the grout - because just mopping with normal pressure resulted in the grout looking just as icky as it did before.

2. Foxtails: Why to they exist (and why are they called "Foxtails")?

Reasons I have come up with include: (a) to provide a recurring source of revenue that flows from my wallet directly into the bank accounts of North County vets, (b) to burrough their way into the orifices of canines causing said canines to scratch and wedge them deeper, or (c) to piss me off.

Yesterday marks foxtail #2 extracted from Nikki, the fearless Mini Aussie. This one was all the down into the bellows of her right ear canal. The last one was wedged into the skin on her ribcage. Total spent in last two months on foxtail extraction? $197.50. Does she care? Nope, she just goes right back out there, and barks some more at the neighbor's dog. I need to put that bitch to work, pay off her debts! This year has been a pricey one for Miss Nikki. First she was a fatty (I didn't realize I was overfeeding her, she's my cutie! hope I don't do this to my children if and when I have them) - found that out via vet visit for daily grass-eating-puking episodes (apparently stemming from he fact that she was carrying around 20% extra Nikki). She has lost a total of 6 pounds (down from 32!) and that ordeal probably cost something around $300. Add the foxtails in and she is one high-maintenance chick! Good thing she is too stinkin' cute.

3. YMCA hiring process = complete overkill

I mean really. Fingerprinting? Training on how to prevent child abuse? I only want to sub some yoga classes for adults for crimeny's sake. I mean I understand there are alot of children that belong to the Y and all that, but I still think it's a little much (of course, this is my opinion, and as all people with basic common sense should know, opinions should be taken with a grain of salt!)

4. The attack of Adult Female Chin Acne

This is getting to a problem. I'm less than a year from 30 and I have acne worse than when I was a teenager. My chin is in perpetual breakout - has been like this since the middle of July. What gives? I am on a zinc thing now b/c supposedly it is good for cystic acne and other acne, but I don't know, man. I am not feeling like doing the Accutane thing again.

5. Continual Vascillation on the "Next Home Improvement Project"

So, the situation with the Mop has direct impact on my home improvement plans. Why? My stupidly light-colored tile floor with light colored grout. Why? WHHHYYYYYYYY do people choose such an impossible color for a floor??! If you have dogs or children for that matter, you will be agreeing with me. I mean, if I was, oh I don't know... a masochist! I would choose it. I feel like I have to mop SEVERAL times a week to keep this shit looking clean and that is just too much for me. I like something I can mop once or twice a month. Vacuum and sweep weekly, ok fine, but mopping all the time is too time-consuming, back-aching. So, thus the vascillation. We want a pool, but I have disdain for my kitchen, and hatred towards my floor. It pains me. So, pool or new kitchen and floor? I don't know. But one day I might snap because of this floor and the demo is going to be on!

6. AND (I almost forgot) The Kayaking Jews!

Lloyd and I think this should be the name of a song - doesn't that sound like a song you might listen to? No? Anyway, why the kayaking and why are they Jewish. Well, we went kayaking in La Jolla with our Texan pals last weekend and as we were waiting for our tour dude and tour to start, I saw some other dudes walking across the street to the convenience store with kipas and tzitzi's and I thought to myself "I wonder if they will be kayaking with us - they'll be the Kayaking Jews!" Turns out they were - and fairly good at kayaking I must say. We literally got stuck to one of them in our kayaks while we were in a holding pattern waiting for the others to arrive at the meeting point out in the ocean; e struck up conversion, asked if we were from out of town. We replied we weren't and asked where he was from - surprise! Brooklyn. Lloyd gestures to me saying that I went to the "well-known university on the upper-west side of Manhattan". This meant nothing to him apparently, and decided he was done with the small talk. We thought this was strange - start up conversation and just clam up? But anyway, I digress. Hopefully anyone reading this doesn't think I am some kind of anti-semite - I am not! I am completely equal-rights about making fun of all people including myself! the Kayaking Catholic! The Kayaking Yogi! Hubby is the Kayaking Episcopalian/Presbeterian!

All-in-all it was very fun - by golly, I will kayak again!

My parting gift, a haiku for you:

the mop is a fuck

it mocks my attemps to clean

i scream at my tile